I woke up this morning in a quiet, empty house, drank my coffee, took a shower without hearing the word "mom" once (even shaved my legs!), and watched CNN undisrupted. My son Alex is traveling to Missouri with his dad to see his grandma and one would think that as much as I complain about how chaotic most mornings with Alex are, I would be in a chipper mood today. Instead, I'm feeling very anxious and guilty. All I could think about this morning was all of the times that I sigh and think to myself how nice it would be to sit and have coffee and actually be able to shower without hearing "mom" a thousand times. However, without these things, I'm pretty lost. I can't even begin to imagine the pain that parents go though after placing a child in Gods hands and not being able to hug their child or tuck him/her into bed every night. Alex is an extremely independent, strong-willed child who has a wonderful desire to please people and make them smile. With school, work, life, etc, I often take the privileged that God gave me to be Alex's mom for granted. I forget that I have so few years of being able to wake him up in the mornings and watching him open his eyes for the first time that day and then driving him off to school, giving him a kiss, and watching him as he runs off with a school mate into the building. Alex's dad and I are divorced and Alex goes to his house everyother weekend and I get wrapped up in the guilt of being divorced from his dad and the frustration of having to play the disciplinary, the nurturer, the doctor, the protector, and the leader all at the same time. I think from time to time, I need a reminder of how much joy he brings into my life.
Friday, February 16, 2007
Mothering Guilt - Day 1
Posted by Amanda at 6:45 AM
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
12 comments:
I know exactly what you are talking about. I've felt those same ways before. You so wish for some peace and quiet and then when you get it you are lonely and miss your child(ren)and spouse.
I remember one time Al had to ref down by Mitchell and I had to work.
I stayed home and he took the kids to my parents. I remember thinking this house is so quiet and so lonely.
What a great reminder Amanda of how much we have to be thankful for. And how quickly it will be gone.
You have one of the most difficult jobs in the world and it's okay if there are days that you 'feel' like you would like some peace and quiet. You deserve it. Just feeling that way doesn't mean you wish you didn't have Alex.
I am sure that you are missing him something fierce.
I admire everything that you do! I can't imagine working full-time, going to college and being a mom/maid/housekeeper/taxi driver/laundry girl, etc all at once! I have no idea how do you all of that, and on top of that you do them all so well!!
Three cheers to you, girlfriend!
It's amazing how big he's getting... I still remember his 3rd birthday and getting his airplane bigboy pants :)
Your dedication to your son, your work, your education simply inspires me.
Thank you all for your nice comments – I really didn’t mean for my post to be a pat-me-on-the-back opportunity, but I’ll take them! HA. Seriously though, motherhood is one of the most rewarding things in my life, but also one of the most challenging and I don’t think that changes if you’re a widowed mother, a divorced mother, or a married mother. My Alex is a very strong-willed child who is so very intelligent and manipulative. He knows what angles work and which ones don’t and he tries my patients often, but when he is off to his dad’s I miss him and it’s always a nice break and a good reminder to try and be the best mother I can be.
Heather - I forgot all about that! Do you remember how excited he was about his Thomas the Tank birthday cake and balloons! Man – It seems like yesterday when he would try to ride Cody all over the house. Those dogs where so patient with him.
Sweet web site, I had not come across amandalindnergraslie.blogspot.com before during my searches!
Keep up the excellent work!
A shared spider's web hosting military talents or virtual hosting service or arrive from host refers to a net hosting servicing where myriad websites reside on harmonious net server connected to the Internet. Each site "sits" on its own allotment, or section/place on the server, to maintain it discriminate from other sites. This is customarily the most stingy option on account of hosting, as numerous people apportionment the entire cost of server maintenance.
[url=http://hostinghouse.pl]hosting[/url]
As well as kinFs I Fo get usually have only one tiny venture For me For that entire yr. To best it oFF, I Fo not even get [url=http://www.germanylovelv.com/]Louis Vuitton Outlet/[/url]
Fo the type oF perForm I really get pleasure From They all just want the primary symbol, company carF, letterheaF occupation. I actually want http://www.germanylovelv.com/
work on Full-scale marketing anF aFvertising campaigns the place Im Feveloping print aFs, Firect mailers & meFia kit[url=http://www.germanylovelv.com/]louis vuitton knolckoffs[/url]
|
|
[url=http://www.dailystrength.org/people/2641034/journal]sacs longchamps[/url] The most noticeable thing about Vemma is the needs it can fulfill. It is focused on helping people We Sale Cheap Women Mulberry Lizzie Leather Hobo Bag Light Coffee,Mulberry Outlet Sale Mulberry Handbags 2013 on hot sale. have the life they deserve, a life which is healthy and happy. It is not only restricted to those who want to live such a life, but also to those who want to participate in helping others do so..
[url=http://longchampsoldesa.snappages.com/blog.htm]sacs longchamp pas cher[/url] But low water levels may have also put a damper on smallmouth fly fishing later Our Mulberry Sale bags online store offers Highly Appreciated Mulberry Women's Bayswater Leather Satchel Black Bag, and more at lowest price, 100% quality guarantee. in spring and through summer and these same conditions may have really spread out the spawn. Smallmouth were observed on spawning beds well into June in some locales. Reports on fishing success were mixed through fall.
[url=http://longchamppliagea.blog.petitmallblog.jp/]sac longchamp moins cher[/url] You are able to come across a bag in nearly any colour such as black, brown, aqua, denim, red, ivory and tangerine. Makowsky handbags at important division and specialty merchants such as Macy's, Bloomingdales, Nordstrom and Neiman Marcus. Looking and buying on-line is your better wager for those who are right after some terrific offers. Now, I will defend a milder 80% Discount Mulberry Outlet Sale Women's Alexa With Teddy Rivets Oak Soft Matte Leather Bags on sale version of the Russell hypothesis. I believe that for at least some portion of workers in developed countries, there is already a shift towards a life with more leisure and less work. Modern workers increasingly entertain themselves on the internet and on their smart phones during what are supposed to be work hours. The second option is to check with specialized dealers. These specialized dealers only sell one particular product. For example you will find dealers selling only television sets, or only cell phones..
Yes, really. And I have faced it. Let's discuss this question. Here or in PM.
Bad taste what that
In my opinion it only the beginning. I suggest you to try to look in google.com
On your place I would go another by.
I advise to you.
[url=http://michaelkorsoutlet0.exteen.com/20130114/cheap-sale-mulberry-messenger-bags][b]michael kors outlet online[/b][/url]
[url=http://shenenmaoyizzz.bcz.com/2013/01/19/exciting-new-leather-handbags-for-that-approaching-spring/][b]michael kors outlet online[/b][/url]
[url=http://cheapmichaelkors2.webs.com/][b]michael kors outlet online[/b][/url]
[url=http://shenenmaoyizzz.fashionblog.com.br/][b]michael kors outlet online[/b][/url]
[url=http://shenenmaoyipo.devhub.com/][b]michael kors outlet online[/b][/url]
Post a Comment