Bullies

Prior to May 23, 2007, I always talked to Alex and taught him the violence is not the answer. I made it VERY clear that I never wanted to see him punch, hit, slap, or push someone because there is always a better way to deal with anger other than through violence.

After Wednesday, however, I had to reevaluate what I was teaching him regarding physical strength. I received a call from the school saying that Alex fell and his cloths were very muddy. I said that I would run a clean pair of shorts and a t-shirt to him ASAP. When I arrived at the school, the principle approaches me and said that he was taking care of it. Out walks my son, in tears, covered in mud, and holding an ice pack over the bump on his head. W*H*A*T??? Apparently, a kid in the first grade was being a bully to some of the kindergarten kids and Alex was one of his targets. Alex exclaimed that "he tried to get away from him". I had to keep swallowing the lump in my thought because I didn't want him to see me cry. "be strong be strong be strong be strong be strong". As the bully walks out of the office, I give him that look - the one that every mother has or needs to master - the one that makes any child regardless of age quiver in there underpants. I wanted to pick him up and say if you hurt my baby again -you'll be messing with me, but I didn't.

The kid was 1/3 of Alex's size! How in the heck did this happen? I told Alex to go change and we would talk when he was finished. I watched him walk to the bathroom still in tears over this ordeal. The principle had the child in his office punishing him with detention/no recess/no field-trip. Alex came out of the bathroom and I first asked him if he did anything to provoke this kid (I was already told he didn't by the teacher but I wanted to hear it from him). He said no and that this kid had picked on him before. Alex has never said a word about this kid to me and I've asked him specifically about things like this in the past. Then I went back on my previous "no violence" rule. I exclaimed that if a bully is picking on him or he witnesses a kid being physically bullied and he has tried to tell teachers or talk to the kid, he may have to use physical strength to grab the kid and bring him down. One left hook should take care of it....right? Yep - it's not my proudest mommy moment but I don't want my kid to grow up never knowing how to defend himself or other people who are being victimized. Isn't it our innate human reaction to fight back (fight or flight syndrome)....have I tried to completely reverse what nature hardwired our intuitions to be?

Well - I'm too tired and I have tons of homework to do yet to answer those questions right now. When I tucked him into bed tonight I suggested we pray for Tommy (not his real name) since he must be a terribly sad boy to be so mean. Alex closed his eyes and a few seconds later said DONE. I don't know what he prayed for - I hope it wasn't for Tommy to catch the chicken pox or something - but I guess that for he and God to work out. I asked Alex is Tommy had many friends, which Alex said no, and I also suggested that we invite him over to play sometime but Alex just looked at me like "don't push it mom"

Summer Goals

LEARN TO GOLF! This is number one on my list since Alex really enjoys golfing. I've only tried to golf once and the person I was golfing with said I looked like Olive Oyle - all legs and arms. This was a bit discouraging - true but discouraging.... but I'm determined to learn this summer. (Also consider this a PSI announcement for those of you golfing with or around me - you might want to wear a helmet to protect yourself)

Teach Alex how to fish without depending on any of my friends/family/or friends husbands I LOVE to eat fish but hate touching the slimy bastards! Ick - I'm cringing just thinking about this one.

Have a picnic with my friends. I really don't do this often enough. It seems that summer comes and goes and I rarely get time to just sit in the grass with my girlfriends and visit. Okay - maybe my new summer hat is motivating me on this one but it's really cute and it would look so darn good sitting on my head in the park.

Dunk my head under water I'm deathly afraid of water

Continue my devotions I'm a slacker in the summer when it comes to devotions. NEED TO CONTINUE DEVOTIONS!!!!

Alright - summer is only 3 months long so I think I have enough to keep me busy.

Much to say about nothing

Oh oh - someone has a case of the Monday's! I had SUCH an unproductive weekend. Alex went to visit his dad so Friday night, we gathered his belongings (and I mean virtually his entire room) and off we were to MN. On my way back, I stopped by my girlfriends house for a "quick visit" and ended chatting until 12:00a.m.! Her husband boggles at the concept that we can talk non-stop for that long, but seriously, there is rarely a gap in the conversation! Stacey is such a riot and a wonderful friend and I love her dearly.

So Saturday...I was going to finish the wallpaper project right? I slept until 11:00!! Yikes - I got up, put some sweats on, had a bowl of cereal and then I thought "well maybe I should get some homework done before the weekend is over". I must have only read a few pages before I feel BACK to sleep! I slept until 7:00p.m.! IS that even sleeping? At what point are you considered in a coma?

Oh - but the most exciting part of my weekend? I had a date on Sunday!!!! We had plans to see a movie and then go out for dinner afterwards. Okay - the date was Alex and we seen Shriek 3 and had lunch at Applebees but considered the rest of my weekend was spent sleeping, this was defiantly the high point of my weekend. The movie was good, but I think there was more adult humor that pushed the envelope at times. Alex loved the movie - of course Alex loves anything to do with "tooting" (which Shriek does quite a bit of) so it wasn't a tough sell for him. I was really surprised to see that a majority of the people at the theater were not children. There were lots of college/high school kids and adults.

One of those days

Last night was one of those nights that I swear I saw Alex’s head spin 360 degrees! I picked him up early and I anticipated an excited child who was eager to spend more quality time with his mom rather than being at the rec. center. Nope – I DRAGGED him to the car with him screaming that he wasn’t done playing basketball. I explained that I would be more than willing to play – but according to him I’m not very good.

So we made it home and he immediately was sent into a time-out. He’s crying and he knows that time-out doesn’t start until he’s quiet but he felt the need to get one more jab in – with the most determined voice a six-year-old can conjure, he says “I’m going to write a book someday and it’s going to be called God doesn’t like moms!!”

At least his goals of being an author are more ambitious than those of becoming a pirate. I wonder if he’ll dedicate it to me. Ah, the joys of motherhood.

Career Paths

Summer of 2006 (pre-kindergarten)
Mom - Alex, what do you want to be when you get bigger?
Alex - A doctor or a cop


Summer of 2007 (post-kindergarten)
Mom - Alex, what do you want to be when you get bigger?
Alex - A pirate


Is this what the No Child Left Behind act intended?
Oh well, either way he should be able to buy his mom a Harley Davidson some day - legality may be in question though.

ER Visit

We had fun night last night! The recreation center had “mass registration” for their summer activities last night so I showed up 15 minutes before registration began since the daycare Alex will be attending this summer wanted all the kids to be in the same session for swimming lessons and I thought 15 minutes would be PLENTY early to assure enough spots for the group. Well, it was but when I pulled up to the rec. center, it looked like an opening for a really hot night club. Seriously – parents were lined up outside the door! Anyway, it took about forty minutes to get him signed up for summer activities and well, I really didn’t feel like cooking – so we were off to McDonalds! Alex ate fine, but was complaining of a headache.

We arrived home and I gave him a bath hoping it would relive his headache. The house is a complete disaster right now because I’m ripping wallpaper from the walls in the dinning room. Alex hasn’t seemed bothered by the dust and the mess, but he kept coughing excessively last night. I told him to lie down and I would scratch his back (the usually “cure-all” remedy for Alex) but I noticed that his breathing was becoming more and more labored. After a few minutes he looked at me and was gasping for air. This was probably the most terrifying thing I’ve ever been through with Alex. He has had past problems with allergies, but he has never had the inability to breath. There was nothing I could do – it wasn’t as though he was choking or gagging - he couldn’t breath! I grabbed him and we were off to the emergency room. After a long night in the ER, the diagnosis was that he basically had an asthma attack that could have potentially been brought on by the dust and chemicals in the house from my wallpaper project. Nothing like adding some guilt to night!

To make the situation even more challenging, I called into work this morning to notify my employer that I was going to let Alex sleep for a few hours this morning since he didn’t get to bed until 2:30 this morning. Man – you would have thought that the place was going to collapse if someone had to cover for me. I’m fortunate to have a GREAT boss, but some other people have nothing better to do with their time but act as the anal police. I would LOVE nothing more than to rely on my family or a spouse to help with my sick child, but I can’t. I’ve been thinking more and more about moving back to the cities to be near my family, but right now I’m so close to being done with school and if I did move, I would end up repeating a lot of my classes. Oh well, I guess I’ll just continue to pray about it and hopefully make the right decision.

Need More Sleep.....

Yet another story for Alex to add to his book “My life with a crazy mother”

I’m beyond sleep deprived because of my finals. It’s been 3:00a.m. bedtimes and 6:00a.m. wake up times and for some people, three hours of sleep may be enough sleep – but it’s defiantly not enough for me. Last night, I gave Alex his bath and we snuggled in the living room to read “Walter the Farting Dog”. Apparently I can read this book in my sleep now because that’s just want I did….I fell asleep with Alex still sitting on my lap. Then next thing I knew, I woke up and Alex had apparently put a blanket on me and crashed on the floor beside me. I rubbed my eyes and looked at the clock – 8:12. CRAP!!!! (Pardon my French) Alex immediately looked at me and said “mom…that’s a bad word” I jumped up and ran to my bedroom to find some cloths to wear. Alex needs to be at school at 8:10 and I need to be to work by 8:00. Here’s what the conversation sounded like –

Alex – Mom, what are you doing?
Mom – Alex, you and mommy need to get dressed REALLY fast!!!!
Alex – Why?
Mom – Because we’re late!!!!
Alex – Late for what?
Mom – (getting frustrated that her cub is arguing with her – refer to the previous post) WE’RE LATE FOR SCHOOL AND WORK!
Alex – Why do I have to go to school?
Mom – (more frustrated) Alex, you need to go to school so you can receive an education. Education is important because the more knowledge you have, the more you can do for the world – that’s why we go to the bank every month and put money in your savings. NOW GET DRESSED!
Alex – But mom, why do I need to go two times in one day?

Yep – it was 8:12p.m.

Have you seen my child?

I’ve been madden about this since I picked Alex up from the community center tonight. Alex attends an after school program which is designed to keep kids involved and active after school until parents pick up their cherubs. I HATE BEING A WOTHM (working outside the home mother) more than you can image!!! I still get knots in my stomach knowing that I’m not the first one to hear about my son’s day when the school bell rings but I have accepted my role – if I didn’t put food on the table, we simply wouldn’t eat.

Alex loves going to the community center – he’s such a busy body and enjoys the gym/swimming/basketball/etc. The kids are dismissed from school at 3:10, then BUSSED (remember this fact for later) to the community center and I’m usually there at 4:30 to pick him up. Again, he gets on a BUS and rides to the community center – has been doing this all year now.

My stress level is maxed out this week as well. I had four economic papers due Monday, a final on Tuesday, two presentations on leadership and turnover rates for OB tonight plus an exam, another exam on Saturday and one more on Sunday and then ONE LAST OB final next Thursday and my last artsy final on Friday. Whew! Needless to say, we’ve been living off of cereal, yogurt, and pizza this week. AND PLEASE – if one “food expert” emails me to inform me of the havoc that I’m doing to my child’s body but providing such nasty foods…I’ll beat you to the punch - bad mom.

So, I leave work to quickly change into my suit for my presentation and run to pick up Alex so we can have super together before I jet off to class. I arrive at the community center and the director stops me at the door and informs me that Alex (who is age 6) WALKED WITH FOUR OTHER KINDERGARTNERS to the community center. It is like a mile long walk!!! If my head wasn’t so hot after hearing this I would have feel over. Oh, don’t worry she says, “I yelled at him and the other kids”. K – Good, he needs to be scolded especially considering he knows the routing of leaving the school and getting on the bus. I immediately explained the dangers of walking along, not telling anybody, etc and he just looked at me with a confused look to why my paranoia has evolved to what it is and say "but mom...the bus is bumpy and it hurts my butt!" I continue to explain to him how irresponsible it was to leave like he did.. BUT - ummmm….where was the supervision. Nobody seen a group of kindergarten children walking down the street from the school and stopped them to say…”hey, where are you kids going”? Needless to say I drove to the school and barked for awhile. UG – not what I needed before I had to give two presentations and take an exam over organization behavior tonight.

Amber created a posting awhile ago regarding unsupervised children wandering the streets at a young age without any apparent supervision and I immediately placed my size 10 foot in my mouth by saying “I KNOW….WHAT SORT OF IRRESPONSIBLE PARENT DOES THAT?” I’m sure that my mom was having a chuckle up in heaven when I said that. I can hear her now saying….that is what you get for being so overconfident Amanda! I guess I can now join Aisha and say “Jude Not, Lest Ye Be Judged” and if you would, please take a few seconds to look at the picture of Alex on my sidebar……waiting……..are you done looking at the picture…..got a good memory of those big ole blue eyes and blond hair? Good. If you see this child (or Aisha’s Alex wondering in his pj’s) they may not be doing this with their mommy’s approval. PLEASE CALL ME ASAP AND TELL ME! I’m working on installing a GPS system in the bands of his underwear in case this happens again. Between his gum dealing on the playground and now his walk around the neighborhood - it has been loaded week. OFFDA and TGIF!